Monday, January 26, 2009

Dream Maker/ The Shepherd (Starring: Majid,Jim,Mercy & Tontoh))

TITLE:
"DREAM MAKER"
(I think this is a continuation to the "Shepherd" which i havent watched and wont even bother seeing. Nsemfukwa!)

SYPNOSIS:
coming soon

STARRING:
- Majid Michel - as David (my one and only Ghanaian best-undersold himself playing costar and worst of all such useless script - Majid you got too much potential and dont have to say YES to every script. I was a lil disappointed for this choice)

- Jim Iyke - As Raymond
- Mercy Johnson - As Jessica
- Tontoh Dikeh - As Gina
- Biola Ige - As Anita
(pretty lady just joined the cast of HORRIBLE actresses to ever surfaced Nollywood. - Poorthang!!!, with all that prettiness and pretty she is, not eloquent or articulate enough - and a horrible actress at best. BORING!!!! Keep ya day job and do us a favour and stay away from any filming location - Acting too na by force - ah ah - Queen Nkwokoye & Rukky Sanda abeg come get ya sister Joh!!!)

PRODUCER / DIRECTOR / WRITER:
- Sylvester Madu (story)

- Nonso Okonkwo (Director)
(well lets just say i wont be watching any of your work in future. You obviously dont care for what you do - I will remember your names and look out to avoid your work)

MY REVIEW:
coming soon - this weekend
Annoying background music may want you to yank ya hair out

SSNC: Say Something Nice Challenge

It will be very unfair of me if i dont recognise Tontoh Dikehs great performance (7/10) - she was quite convincing in some parts. I said it before, she is definitely a newbie in the industry who is a force to be reckoned with.

As for Mercy, like Majid, i am disappointed in the script she agreed to do. Yes, an actress should be diverse in her roles, but abeg, this script was totally wrong and it was just so evident the directors were not doing their job, cos you and Jim directed yourselves in most scenes, they just sat back and scream "ACSHON!!). Please Mercy, You are one of my top 3 best actresses, dont disappoint me again.

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Warning:
Its bad enough i hate fake accents (Jim at his best) - but then worse of all brace yourself for some words of "Fcuk", "Shit", "Bitch", "Ho", "Nigga" , Porntalk & lots of drug use (not PG for sure)- I mean are you kidding me, so now african movie has gotten to this. Its a sad day i tell ya. Its just laughable at best when our african actors try to emulate the west.


Why cant we stay true to our own. Lets start by taking the "wood" out of Nollywood. Holla!!!!

MY RATINGS:
3.0/10
Buy it at ya own risk. We are in a recession spend ya money wisely abeg. Dont say i didnt warn you.

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In Conclusion Like I Always Say:
"TO EACH HIS OWN"
xxx

Distance Between - (Starring: Rita,Mercy,Yemi & Kalu)


TITLE:
DISTANCE BETWEEN
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SYPNOSIS:
The secret behind Preye's indiscriminate sexual urge is unknown. Any man that says hello to her is good enough to take her to bed. Her best friend on the other is a direct opposite of her...They have just found love...For real? or same old game
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STARRING:
- Yemi Blaq - as Akin (gosh this dude is growin on me - since Letters to a Stranger)
- Rita Dominic -
as Priye
- Mercy Johnson - as Mosun
- Kalu Ikeagwu - as Ike ?

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PRODUCER/DIRECTOR/WRITER
-Remi Ibinola - Writer ,
-Remi Ibonola - Producer
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MY REVIEW:
One Word - LOVED IT - ohh I loved, definately a keeper on my library shelve
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"OH HELLLLLLL Nawwwww (OHN)" MOMENT:
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1. ) Abeg Yemi that scene with you "swinging" the blood stained tampon like a pendulum, was so not necessary. That was a disgusting scene - the producer should have left that out, I was like "what in helllll naawwwww" - was that necessary?. I mean there are no more surprises in nollywood movies anymore. What else is knew huh??
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2. ) Some dude whom Mercy was trying to get freaky with (i think his name was Dolapo) but the penetration was unsuccessful, so dude bailed out and had the nerve to ask Mercy "Do you own a Dildo" - i fell down laughing
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Most Memorable Phrase
Mercy (Mosun) to Yemi (Akin): "I have Vaginismus" ( i swear i did not know this word existed). Yemi then picks up a dictionary (or was it some electronic wikipedia - i cant tell) and looks up the definition and states "Vaginismus is a condition which affects a woman's ability to engage in any form of vaginal penetration, including sexual penetration". At that moment i knew instantly that the title of this movie shoulda been "VAGINISMUS" - Nollywood movies, hate it or love it, there is nothing like it - Chei!!!.
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MY CONCLUSION:
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Though this movie is called Distance Between i personally choose to refer to it as "Vaginismus" - the name has a ring to it , doesnt it?? - And lets just be happy that at least Akin penetrated, cos Dolapo couldnt. :lol - Holla!!!!!!!!
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MY RATINGS:
8.5/10 - worth buying - collectors item!
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